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What will probably happen when the Point Break remake is released

 

What will probably happen when this film is released:

 

There’ll be a lot of bitching and moaning about remaking a classic.

Which is ultimately free publicity.

The film will come out and get average-to-good reviews.

And the bitchers and moaners will still get in line to see it, so they can do informed bitching and moaning afterwards.

The film’s marketing department will snip the bits of the reviews saying things like “Adrenaline-fueled” and “Heart-pumping action” and plaster them all over the posters.

The actual film will indeed have loads of action, overly elaborate heists and a female lead who’s only there to make sure nobody thinks the lead guys are like, gay or anything.

“The only law that matters is gravity” will not become the catchphrase it’s intended to. Because it’s just a bit crap.

It’ll end on a sort-of cliffhanger, just in case it’s successful enough to start a franchise.

Years later it’ll be the film of choice for when you come home from the pub with a bunch of mates and want to watch something brainless while eating a kebab and not finishing a beer.

Someone will announce a remake of Back to the Future. Which really is too far.

 

Alfie

 

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Comments

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