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Five Things Surfers Hate

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There's a magnificent amount of things about surfing we just love; the ocean,  glassy barrels,  new wetsuits,  Kelly Slater’s lack of hair,  a fresh board, the smell of wax (to the extent where most of us have given it a sneaky lick).  And although it's a sport we all love, there are just a few things that can make our surf day an unhappy one.

A wet wetsuit

On a dank frosty winter's day the surf is still pumping from your session the previous day.  But after returning home cold, wet, tired and hungry you dismiss the dismal 5 minute task of cleaning and hanging your suit up to dry.  The next session arrives and you pull your soaked ’wet’ suit out of the bucket it's been saturating in for the past 18 hours. And regret overwhelms you.  You tearfully put your first foot in and the instant smell of yesterday's p**s poor decision fills your freezing nostrils.  Trying to race through the cold onslaught and get the deed done you drag the rest of the suit over you and then continue the torment by squeezing into those water filled boots and dripping gloves. This is one thing we will never learn from, we’ll curse ourselves for not drying it out but you'll never see us do it after every surf. 

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Damage

Any ding, scratch, hole, piercing, crease, crack in a new or old stick. Whether it's a day old or 3 years old, it’s one of the most gut wrenching feelings.  Seeing your board dive towards the reef, or an unaware surfer ride straight into it, that moment when you know something has happened and you turn it over to assess the damage. Another reason for some nasty board damage is from a leash snap,  one of those 'can't be helped but screw you things'  as you swim from way out back watching helplessly as your beloved board flies south. Obviously the worst possibility is a straight up snap,  a notion that's a bit rarer in England but travel abroad,  Indonesia,  Australia,  South Africa, etc then this harsh nightmare becomes a daily occurrence.  It's just one of those things that are relatively unavoidable, and we resent it.

Lack of wax

We love wax.  We love the smell, we love the feel, and a rare few of us even like the taste.  It's something most of us often use in excess, but sometimes, you forget, you leave your board in the sun just a tiny bit too long, you hire a board and there's no sign of any wax within a ten mile radius, whatever the reason they all lead to a slippy and slidey wave session, and not the finless kind of slidey either.  The kind where one of the best waves of the session ploughs through, you're in perfect position,  you paddle,  you feel the quick rush,  jump to your feet,  then suddenly slip,  fall,  curl up and cry.

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A hip snip

This one doesn't apply to about half of the surfing world, but the other half will strongly agree.  They're the source of everything hateful, they represent most of the qualities that a stereotypical surfer isn't, and they make a lot of us look a fair bit younger than we'd like. Hairdressers.  Trying to force their 'in-trend' styles and up-to-date appearances on us; all for a small fortune.  A lot of pro surfers feel the same,  for example,  Rob Machado hasn't visited a hairdresser since 2005, and Kelly Slater hasn't been since 1999 when he realised an easier way out  (the previous statements may not be 100% true).

A busy line up

The inevitability that is steadily spreading to each and every break around the globe. The number of surfers in the world has seen a phenomenal growth, with just under a million surfers a year join the masses.  With an ever growing amount of surfers hitting the water, breaks around not only the UK but the globe are getting more and more overcrowded.  It's something that's becoming a constant struggle to avoid; secret spots and hidden gems you found five or ten years ago are slowly being raided and there's nothing we can do about it, except adapt.  However it’s amazing to see the surfing industry thrive and develop and it’s becoming more and more recognised around the globe as more and more people are taking to the waves for their holiday fun. We can frown all we want as our local spots get swarmed, but it's incredible when you think about what the surfing world has transformed into.  Although, on the surface, we still hate it.

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